


High Rise (Eye to Eye with Fireworks)

by Dekka, pulltab (Dekka)



Series: Postural Hypotension AU [5]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fainting, Hospitals, M/M, postural hypotension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekka/pseuds/Dekka, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekka/pseuds/pulltab
Summary: “Are you nervous?” Auston asks. The words feel wrong, heavy almost, in the quiet of the cab.Mitch’s leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since they sat down. “A little,” he admits.
Relationships: Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews
Series: Postural Hypotension AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550362
Comments: 32
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

New York is grey and cold this time of year, the rain just a couple of degrees north from snow. It’s the opposite of what everyone imagines. There’s no bright lights, no busy sidewalks; just grey slush and people with their hands buried in their pockets, trying to get from point A to B in as little time as possible. 

Even from above, in airplanes that land over the city, there isn’t much to see on nights like tonight. 

“Remind me why we’re spending our vacation here?” Auston is bundled up to the tens already, his nose buried in his scarf as if he can feel the cold through the airplane doors. They’ve just landed after a long day and if the exhaustion wasn’t already killing him, Mitch’s annoyingly positive attitude would be. 

“It’ll be fun,” Mitch promises, true to form. 

Auston just raises an eyebrow at him and turns over in his chair to cuddle back up. It’s late and he’s tired and it always takes a while before the pilot comes back to greet them before they step off their private flights. 

That still feels weird, to them. 

“My Mom’s going to be pissed I didn’t come home.” It’s just conversation, but still, Mitch tenses. 

“You still can fly down to Scottsdale-”

Auston rolls his eyes. 

“Seriously Aus-”

“Mitchy,” he calls gently, to get his attention. It works, but barely. Mitch stops gathering their things and turns to face him. 

“I want to be here,” Auston says. 

It’s enough of a lie that a smile breaks over Mitch’s face. “Sure,” he chirps, and tucks the blanket Auston’s huddled under up to his chin. 

Just like that, they’re right back where they started, good again. It makes time meld together as they exit the plane and make their way through the airport, talking softly between themselves, their shoulders bumping. 

If they just could’ve had an hour more of sleep, Auston’s sure he’d be better at keeping up with their conversation, but Mitch fills in where he lags. “The hotel has a pool, and a spa, and a breakfast buffet…it’s actually a great time of year…” 

So it’s like every hotel they’ve ever stayed in, Auston thinks critically. 

“Maybe we could go to a show or-” Mitch goes on, but Auston’s barely keeping up as it is. 

He hikes his bag up higher on his shoulder and tries not to get lost as Mitch leads them through the crowded terminal. 

As hard as they try, nothing feels normal right now. Because no matter how much Mitch pretends, the reason none of this feels like a vacation is because it isn’t one. 

Though hockey is on pause for the next four days, their schedules are packed. And while the other guys send in snaps of beaches and tropical drinks, Auston and Mitch will be in hospitals and meeting rooms. 

“So this thing is a conference, right? For people with your condition?” Auston read the pamphlets Mitch gave him on the plane, but it’s all a little confusing. 

“Kinda.” Mitch shrugs. He takes a sharp left at a crossroad of hallways and nearly loses Auston in the crowd. In the moment, the temptation to grab Mitch’s hand is overwhelming, but even this late at night there’s too many eyes around them who could know who they are.

“What do you mean kinda?” Panting to keep up, Auston grabs the strap of Mitch’s duffle where it hangs over the small of his back just so that they don’t get separated. It’s the last thing they need on their already tense ‘vacation.’ 

“It’s not so serious,” Mitch says, back to being distracted by the signs around them, “it’s more like a fun thing. Calling it a conference just makes it sound weird.” 

They start going one way then, but Mitch stops two steps in and turns and heads the other direction. 

Blindly, Auston follows. 

In the haze of the airport, he has just enough time to doubt the honesty of Mitch’s words, all too aware of the full day of appointments they have tomorrow. “So…what are we going to do there then?” 

“Video games? Maybe the pool.” Even from behind him, Mitch must know Auston is glaring into his back. He turns just to smile at him, cheeky and easily the happiest person within a twenty mile radius. 

When Auston just raises an eyebrow at him, testing, Mitch rolls his eyes and gives in. “There’s just other Doctors and patients there and people, like, mingle.”

Stopped once more, Auston’s left watching Mitch mouth out words as he reads the signs around them.

He gives Mitch a minute, until, “Are we lost?” 

The look his boyfriend shoots him is answer enough and soon they’re walking again, taking what feels like random turns. 

***

The next day starts for Auston before the sun even has a chance to break through their hotel blinds. 

He makes coffee for Mitch, decaf, and spares himself the calories of a too-sweet drink all before Mitch has even noticed he’s gone from bed. 

It’s the quiet kind of morning that proceeds chaos, the smell of coffee thick in the air and the sound of birds coming in, faint, from just outside their window. 

It’s guilt, maybe, that keeps Auston busy as the clock slips closer and closer to six in the morning. At least then, Mitch can say he’s well rested as he gets poked and prodded at the hospital today. 

After an hour of mindlessly staring down the coffee pot, right when the sun’s finally started to peak, Auston’s phone vibrates itself across the kitchenette counter. The sound barely startles him, despite how jumpy he feels; he’s been waiting for it. 

The name “Dr. Ana Vanmerez” stands out, stark, against his background. 

For minutes he just stares at the unread message, trying to find the will to reach over and open it. 

It’s unreal how something as small as a text message can seemingly put the weight of the floors above them on his shoulders. 

Finally, he can’t wait any longer. 

Mitch’s specialist always texts so formally. Auston’s own name is written at the top, Ana’s signed off at the bottom. 

The message is just a copy of Mitch’s schedule for the day, test after test set back to back with a final conference with her colleges to discuss results highlighted near the end of the day. 

If today doesnt kill them, Auston swears he’ll take Mitch away for a real vacation once summer comes. 

“Iss’it Ana?” Barely propped up in bed, Mitch's searching eyes are squinted shut like even the soft light coming in from the bathroom is enough to bother him. 

“Yeah Mitchy,” Auston answers, as soft as the light starting to peak into the room, "you can sleep a little longer, okay?” It feels good to be able to give Mitch those few minutes more, like Auston himself is sparing him from the day to come. 

“Okay,” Mitch slurs, and cuddles back into their twisted, egg white hotel sheets. He looks warm against them, his lips turned up in the slightest smile. 

The need to join him in bed hits Auston like a physical weighted punch to the chest and still he stands steady, refusing to give into temptation. Just to move his hands, he packs them a backpack for the day and prays the morning goes fast.

As the sun comes up, Auston finds his wish answered in parts. 

The rest of their morning is slow with sleep and exhaustion as he and Mitch bump hips in the bathroom while brushing their teeth. 

The faces they pull at each other in the mirror are a poor attempt at holding their facade together. 

It’s the calm before the storm, now.

When the cab comes for them, Auston herds Mitch to the lobby and gets into the car after him. The grey sky matches their distain for the day ahead of them. 

“Are you nervous?” He asks. The words feel wrong, heavy almost, in the quiet of the cab. 

Mitch’s leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since they sat down. 

“A little,” he admits. 

Today is far from not their normal day of testing with Ana. Usually, it’s just them. Today, it’s four back to back tests with new Doctors consulting on Mitch’s case. 

"It'll be okay," Auston promises. He spares a glance up at driver before he lets his hand snake across the seat and grab Mitch's. 

The smile he gets in response is weak, but there. 

It's between one shaky breath Mitch manages and the next, that Auston cant help but think that staging the conference as a vacation was a good way to trick them all into coming. 

“You’ll stay with Ana?” Mitch asks then. There's no hiding the quiver in his voice, not when the density of the air seems to have sucked all other sound from the world. 

"I will," Auston promises. With their hands intertwined, he squeezes Mitch's fingers. “For as long as they’ll let me.”


	2. Chapter 2

For as long as they let him ends up being right up until they hand Mitch his dressing gown. 

All semblance of ease has been sucked from the air. Even Mitch’s face is sullen as two nurses swarm him while they get him ready for his first round of tests. 

“Just a pinch,” one promises, a needle in her hand. 

There’s something so defeated about how Mitch lets his head fall back and eyes close as they push and prod him. 

Feet away, Auston feels helpless. 

“How long will the tests take?” He turns to Mitch’s specialist, but she’s buried in his file. 

“Until he passes out,” she says. Ana’s not usually so short with him, but they only have so long before Mitch is carted off to his next test. 

On the exam table, Mitch tenses up. It’s visible enough that something heavy drops in Auston’s stomach and the anxiety that’s been eating at him grows into a physical ache. 

The weight is uncomfortable enough that he finds himself pressing forward, blocking one of the nurses from going to Mitch’s side. “What’s wrong?” He asks. It's not hard to ignore the slight glare he's getting from across Mitch's bedside. 

Mitch can only shrug, his head shaking like he’s trying to push whatever’s bothering him from his mind. 

Nearly begging, Auston turns back to Ana. “Maybe we should reschedule some of this.” The words slip from his mouth without further thought. 

They all know how important these tests could be. 

Shooting up to him, Ana's eyes are set, but her gaze softens when she gets a good look at them both. It’s the pity, maybe, that makes Auston square up. "I didn't mean-"

“-I’m sorry, boys,” she says, and Mitch’s hand tightens in Auston’s. “Today will be the only day of tests. The rest of the week is yours.”

 _It’s just one day_ , Auston affirms, over and over to himself. Never mind the hard truth that these results could have an impact on Mitch’s career, his life, _their_ life. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” Mitch says. 

He won’t meet Auston’s eyes. 

Their only goodbye is the way their hands squeeze together once, tight, before Ana steps in. She leads Auston out, away from Mitch with a steadying hand on his back, guiding him. 

For the rest of the morning, he watches from afar.

***

He hates the waiting, so much so that when his phone rings and his mom’s name flashes across the screen, he picks it up. 

“Hey,” he answers, soft, and makes his way towards a more secluded area. 

“ _How’re you doing, hun_?”

His arm feels too heavy as he hold his phone to his ear and it's got nothing to do with the nearly insignificant weight of his iPhone. 

“Good,” he lies. The rush of air that leaves his lungs like a sigh is a red flag to any mother. 

“How’s Mitch,” she asks then, more somber. 

“Scared, I think.” It’s honest enough, by the way Mitch’s hands shook when they said goodbye. “It’s just routine stuff, but still. There’s a new test they’re trying out today and he’s meeting some new doctors.” 

“I’m sorry, Auston.” Most people, when they say sorry, don't actually sound sorry. But his mom, she sounds devastated. 

It makes something small in him twist uncomfortably. 

He just shrugs, trying to brush away the feeling. “It is what it is, I guess.” 

There’s not much more to say. 

For what it’s worth, she tries to distract him. She tells him about his sisters and the new recipe they made together the other night and how much they miss him. 

The smile on his face once they say their goodbyes feels foreign and slowly, it melts away as he takes in the white walls surrounding the waiting room. 

“ _Matthews?_ ” 

His head shoots up, concern settling harshly in his stomach. It’s only been a couple hours. If Mitch passed out that quickly…

He wonders if they’ll need another day of testing. 

“Come with me,” the nurse says, when he finally gets his legs under him enough to go up to her. 

He makes it down three, maybe four, hallways before his nerves get the better of him. “Did everything go alright?” 

“Oh yeah,” she says, nonchalant, like he hasn’t been going out of his mind for the last three minutes, trying to read every micro-expression on her face. “we’ve got Mr. Marner’s room ready, you can wait there till Dr. Vanmerez is ready.”

He gets well aquatinted with the little room she leaves him in. 

He tests the couch, the chair, even flips on the little tv they’ve got in the corner. 

After another two hours, he tests out the vending machine down the hall. 

When a nurse finally comes in, he’s so shocked at seeing another person that he can’t help but feel like he’s been caught somewhere he’s not supposed to be. 

“Hi,” he says lamely, stuck standing in the middle of the room like an idiot. 

“Hey,” the nurse says. She has an armful of blankets and towels. 

Awkwardly, he sits back down. “Are they almost done with him?” He asks, while she quietly makes her way around the room. 

She looks tired in a way Auston can relate to. Like she’s had too many sleepless nights in a row and too many long days to match. “They’re bringing him down as we speak,” she says. Her hands are slow as she fixes up the blankets. 

“Can I help?” He asks, gesturing to the other side of the bed where the sheet keeps pulling off the corner. 

In the slightest way, her lips twist up. “I’ve got this,” she promises, then smirks up at him. “Mitch did mention you brought him a blanket though?” 

The backpack that’s been left abandoned on the couch is nearly bursting. Between Mitch’s clothes, snacks, and blanket, its zippers are nearly shot. 

“Wow,” she snorts, when he pulls it out. 

The little baseball bat and jersey-filled slab of fabric is a sight to behold. Even the little diamond fields are worn out enough to be nearly unrecognizable. 

“Baseball?” She asks, uncertainly. 

Auston nods and spreads it out over the freshly made bed. 

“Who’s number thirty four?” She asks, pointing to the distorted numbers spread across the length of it. 

“Some Matthews guy,” Auston says, and smoothes down the top. Him and Mitch always thought they were so clever. “The guy’s no good though, never even made it pro.” 

The nurse just huffs an unknowing laugh before she leaves him to another half-hour of boredom. 

****

Around noon Auston gets his first real glimpse of hope, long after he’s grown sick of the four walls they’ve kept him captive in. 

His relief squad comes in the form of Ana and two nurses, who bring in even more equipment. 

“Mitch will be in right after us,” Ana promises. But with her phone going off at her hip, she doesnt stay long. 

It only takes minutes more until they wheel Mitch into the room. He’s too out of it to even speak, but he gives Auston a weak attempt at a thumbs up as the nurses get him situated. After waiting so long, that’s enough, and despite the flurry of movement around him, Auston steps closer. His eyes cant help but fall to Mitch’s lax fingers, their tremor the only tell that he’s awake. 

“Can I?” Auston asks the nurse, motioning uselessly at Mitch’s hand. 

She nods him forward, her own hands busy attaching monitors to Mitch’s pointer and ring finger on his other hand, then his chest.

In his own hand, Mitch’s skin feels like ice. 

“Hey,” he says softly, fixing the baseball blanket up to Mitch's chest, reflexively smoothing it down like it'll do anything to comfort him.

He wishes they could have the room, anything to get them some privacy. 

It takes too long for Mitch’s eyes to open and find his and hold onto them. 

“How’re you feeling?” Auston asks in a whisper. He doesnt expect an answer and doesnt really want one if he’s being honest. 

The truth wouldn’t be easy to swallow right now. 

Beside them, a new monitor starts to beep. 

It distracts them both enough for Auston to finally breathe. 

“How’d it go?” He asks the nurse instead. 

She gives him an encouraging nod while she stays moving, fixing everything to their standards. “He held in there,” she says, like it’s a good thing Mitch was able to cling to consciousness while they put his body through the ringer. 

“And the tilt table?” Auston asks. It’s Mitch’s least favorite part of check-ins. He always says it makes him claustrophobic, to be held down like that. 

“He did good,” she says emptily. 

Auston can’t help but look over at Mitch and watch the way his chest his still heaving. 

_The worst is over,_ he promises himself. 

The chair he drags to Mitch's side is harder than cement, but it's the only way he can be close to Mitch right now without crawling into bed with him. 

"Good job, Mitchy," he cheers and shakes their hands together. It's sad maybe, that it's then that he lets himself finally breathe, when their day isnt even close to being over. 

It's like whatever was keeping him going drains out of him the second the last nurse leaves them. His head gets heavy, his racing heart slows, and like the tide, everything washes away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments feed the writer :)

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally wrote 12k for this AU oooppppss haha
> 
> Comments feed the writer! Let me know where you'd like to see this fic go :)


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